here I am in the 2nd trimester...

Almost every time I post on this blog I feel like I mention how fast time is flying by. And this time is no exception. I'm now officially into my 2nd trimester, so things feel a little safer to me. I went in for an ultrascreen test on Valentine's Day, which was quite the experience. What I learned from the appointment...Baby Amen is stubborn. Well, I guess it's bound to be true...I mean look at Mommy and Daddy! Anyway, my appointment was at 10:45, but the office was running a little behind. I ate quite a lot of sugar before going in because I was told that would be the best way to get Baby Amen moving around for the ultrasound. They called me in for the ultrasound only to find that Baby Amen was not in the right position and was sound asleep with his or her hand up by their face. By what the doctor was saying, whenever babies in the womb have their hands by their face it usually means that they are comfy and sleeping. The doctor proceeded to push and prod and jiggle and shake things around trying to get Baby Amen to wake up. No luck. So...she sent me back out to the waiting room to pump me full of more sugar. Someone at the office made homemade toffee, so she brought some of that out for me, she got me a huge glass of Diet Coke (which I haven't drank caffeine in forever), and she handed me a handful of Valentine's Day candy to chow down on to get Baby Amen sugared up. Twenty minutes later she called me back in for another try at the ultrasound. This time Baby Amen was in a worse position and still not moving around much. Stubborn. The doctor left me in the room to let the sugar keep working for another 15 or 20 minutes. Now, for the 3rd ultrasound of the day, Baby Amen still wasn't moving around a whole lot, but had at least moved enough to be in the right position for the test. So, the doctor finally got the measurements and of course let me know that my baby was the difficult baby of the day. :) She said she never expected that I would be the one to have the stubborn baby. HA! Here's the newest picture of Baby Amen.
I'm hoping you all are getting better at looking at and deciphering these ultrasound pictures by now. If not, I'll explain a little. On the right you can see Baby Amen's head. You can also see the 2 eye sockets. In Baby Amen's body you can see a curved white line along the bottom and that is his or her spine. The little thing sticking up is a hand with tiny little fingers. You can't see the legs and feet in the picture, but trust me, they're there...I saw them during one of the other multiple ultrasounds of the day!

After my 3 ultrasounds for the day I came out of the exam room and was greeted by a couple of cheering doctors. You see, I have officially graduated from my RE's office and have now moved on to seeing a regular OB! YAY! My first visit at the OB's office will be on February 26th. I guess that this OB only takes patients of my RE, so that is reassuring. I am a little bummed at the fact that I won't get an ultrasound every 2 weeks anymore. :( I love seeing my little baby. Oh well, in only a few short months I'll get to see Baby Amen every single day and that's what I'm most looking forward to!

Quick side note...for those of you still wondering about my ovary...it's still 7cm. But the doctor said it isn't as "fluffy" as it used to be. So, whatever that means! I take it that it looks like it's starting to go down, but just hasn't really started to shrink yet?!? My feeling still remains the same. As long as it's not causing any problems, I'm not going to worry. But I will knock on wood, so as not to jinx myself!

I did find out some very exciting news this week. Friends of Josh and I are expecting a baby in mid-September! So, I'll get to share this whole first time pregnancy thing with her...which I think is pretty cool. When I first found out I was so excited, yet so sad at the same time. I wasn't sad because they are having a baby, but I was, and still am, sad that all 4 of us can't go through this first time life experience together. We always double-dated and hung out together...it would have just been really neat to do this whole baby thing together, too. They're great people, so I know I'll always keep in touch and be welcome to hang out with them, but I just want to scream because Josh can't be here to be a part of it, too! This is just another situation to prove to me that all of my previous expectations for life are shattered and there's not much I can do about it. I need to somehow re-train my brain so when these things come up they don't hit me like a ton of bricks. Bad thing is, I know there's no way to predict how I'm going to react to a situation and if it's even a bad thing that I feel this way when things like this come up. I guess I just keep praying and keep talking to Josh, and somehow I'll make it through.

so...i'm a little lazy...

You may have noticed that I did not post last week. Actually, I didn't even take an 11 week picture! I was too lazy and just put it off. I didn't take the picture on Saturday, like I usually do, so I told myself I'd do it Sunday. Well, Sunday led to Monday, Monday led to Tuesday, and here I am at Saturday again. Oh well, there's not much noticable change anyway. Last week, I did however, feel a slight flutter while I was at school after eating a very chocolatey piece of cake. I don't know if it was the sugar and it made Baby Amen go crazy in there...or maybe it wasn't anything, but whatever I felt I've never felt anything quite like it before. I haven't felt anything since then, so who knows.

Baby Amen is getting bigger. By the book that I'm reading it says that he or she is about 3 inches long right now. And in the next couple of weeks, Baby Amen will grow approximately a 1/2 an inch every week! I am officially moving into my second trimester, so the baby will really start to take off in growth. My appointment on Wednesday should be a lot of fun.

I'm missing Josh more and more and more. I really have a hard time explaining to people how I feel, but yesterday I found a song that explains a little of how I'm feeling right now. The second it started playing and I heard the words, I was in tears from how strongly I connected to it. If you go to my myspace page you can hear it...or you can click here and click on the song "Homesick."
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28483424
Or if neither of those things are an option here are the lyrics.

Homesick

by MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now